R.S. #2: the Angry Kitty

I know, I know, this is two days late, but, see, I was going to post on Thursday, but blogspot said I needed to log in, and I, being the complete nudge I am, had not written down my password, which led to a long boring process of getting a new password, which I finally gave up on, and today, while staring longingly at the login button on my blog, suddenly remembered the password. Huh. Funny how these things work sometimes.

Sorry 'bout the quality. But, I mean, look at his wittle swquirrely fangs! Awwwww!

My Obscure Fairytale

So, as everyone here should know by know, I'm a huge fan of Sarah Beth Durst, and on her blog she has this segment of obscure fairy tales, and after I read them all, I decided to write my own! So, here it is, at no extra charge:

Once there lived a woodcutter and his daughter. He desperatly wanted a son to teach the ways of the woodcutter, so one day he sent his daughter to go find a husband and told her that if she did not return successfully in three days, he would turn her into a pigeon. Not wanting to be a pigeon, she set off immediately.

While walking along the road on the first day, she came upon a lion. And the lion told her if she would come close to him and brush his mane, he would marry her. Fearful of the beast, she refused and continued on her way.

On the second day, she met an ostrich, and the ostrich told her that if she would kiss him, he would marry her. Disgusted by the fowl, she refused and continued on her way.

On the third day, she met a handsome young man who said to her that is she would fearlessly brush the mane of the lion and willingly kiss the beak of a wretched ostrich, he would marry her. She agreed for he was good and strong and she wished to marry him.

So she set about her task, and when she had succeeded, returned to the man. But when she arrived, she found that he had transformed into her father the woodcutter. He explained that he had tricked her into accepting the marriage of both the lion and the ostrich, for they were both strong and wouold make good woodcutters.

So she wed the two beasts and the woodcutter's new sons learned the ways of a woodcutter. The daughter, glad to not be turned into a pigeon but upset at her new husbands, left her home, he father, and her two husband's and ran away. In the road, she met a prince, and the two wed and lived happily ever after.

The End

How was it? In my opinion, it's very fairy tale-ish.

R.S. #1: Photoshop Tap Dancing Muffin!

In my last post, I promised a R.S, so here it is. Enjoy!

It's a muffin!! Tap Dancing! He really does need a catchy little jingle. Muffin man, a-rata-ta-ta-a-rata-ta-ta...

Recurring Segments

Well, I'd say it's well past time for a (drumroll, please!) .....Recurring Segment! Tada! Sooooo, as my first ever recurring segment I've decided to have weekly photoshops! That's right, every Thursday you will get to see an original and highly hilarious photoshop of mine! Yay for you! I was inspired by the Lawn Goat. And, I've decided to refer to recurring segments as R.S.'s because recurring segments just takes too long to type.

Magazine Sale

My school does a magazine sale every year for fundraising, and when they do it, in order to motivate you, they give you a bunch of worthless crap to 'encourage' you to sell more *ahemhe-bribery-heh*. This year, you know what they're giving us? Handheld blenders, one-can mini fridges, and robotic hampsters. My friend and I were cracking up at the assembly. You should have seen the video clips! The mini-fridge one showed this kid sitting in class, with this inconspicuous refridgerater on his desk, and he nonchalantly opens it, takes out a soda and starts drinking it in the middle of class! AND they tell us if we get the hampster, it gets entered in the 'Hampster Rumble'. Basically a whole mess of rodents rolling around the gym in their little plastic bubbles. Aren't we lucky?

Spread the Stupidity

This is a forward that I recieved from an email bearing friend. I thought it was funny, so here you go! Thank you email bearing friend!

Only in America .....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America .....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America .....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER ...Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkensour skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Growling Sheep

So, the other day, at lunch, my friend and I were talking about....weeell, I don't really remember what we were talking about, but ended up with me saying how awesome it would be if someone would carry around a tiny sheep, brandishing it at people while saying 'Grrrrrr', while the sheep is meanwhile looking extremely bored and quite comical with it's little legs dangling beneath it. So know all I have to do is find a tiny, bored looking sheep, carry it around doing said actions, and see what people say.